Naturally being out of your comfort zone, regular environment and moving to any country will bring out the judgmental and critical side of you, as your system takes a while to adjust to a new society, their norms and customs. In Somaliland, foreigners and Diaspora Somalis gravitate towards each other to exchange stories of old life, football, general discussions, business and to complain and gossip about local Somalis. They want to spend time with people who understand their background, experience and the life they previously had. I remember once telling a local friend of mine that I was craving apple pie and upon explaining its content, she promptly told me just to boil an apple in sugared water, mash it up and eat it with pancakes! I don’t even like apple pie all that much, but at that specific moment my heart sank at how she destroyed my craving for an apple pie, but at the same time I admired the no-nonsense attitude and the problem solving mentality that fueled her creativity.
Although I can understand why naturally people with similar experiences are attracted to each other to form a sub society which supports their social, emotional and wellbeing (as well as the ability to fit in more comfortably), it is still alarming to see the clear social segregation and lack of effort made by us as Diaspora returnees and International staff to try and fit in (yes we obey the basic social rule- reluctantly and venomously complaining about these “restrictions”). I am always intrigued by our stubborn mind frame which automatically pinpoints all the things society MUST change to accommodate our needs and comfort (I for one would like a decent cake and sweets shop) yet we are unwilling to change even a little bit, find a common ground or engage with the community on an equal level.
If you are here for a short time you probably won’t get the chance to challenge your own perceptions or question the new judgmental side of you that has surfaced and you may leave Somaliland still annoyed you had to wear a headscarf (a requirement in most Muslim countries) or unease by men walking around causally holding hands, or disgusted by people spitting or using a tooth stick in public or still unable to follow conversations where five people all talk loudly and over each other or random commentary on your clothes or how you walk. But after you have been here a while, these little social differences fail to register (or at least shock you) anymore and you go on about your day. Unbelievable some of these things use to cause me great discomfort, at some point I decided to minimize my stress levels by applying rational (rather than emotional) thinking and positive mind frame. Real life is not all plain sailing, tea and pancakes after all, so I just need to deal with it. The difficulties life brings are all part and parcel of our existence; hardship, trials and tribulations challenge and stretch our limits as life takes its path. We can all achieve far more in our lives if we adopt a positive attitude which will boost our productivity, creativity and as the key attribute that contributes to the success.
I am always surprised to see foreigners and Diaspora Somalis nit picking and bitiching about the local Somali community- some of them quite rudely and offensively. I often hear people saying “these people are impossible to help, it is so bad, they are just XYZ”. A little bit of moaning and complaining is healthy and acceptable in any job, but the bottom line is if you hate the community or view them as sub human you will not be able to help them or anyone else and you should probably consider a career change. Negativity stumps your potential ability, opportunity to learn and make a difference; stinking attitude equals poor results while positive thinking is a frame of mind that can get results.
I have met some inspirational people, who consistently maintain a positive frame of mind, and it is they, who make a difference and influence change because they are problem-solvers rather than a negative bitter-complainer who sucks all your energy. They emit positive energy and vibrations which makes everyone around them receptive to their ideas and suggestions. If you are walking around with a miserable face and I am better than you attitude, Somalis will never give you the time of the day- and why should they?
